Recently, I was thrown a bit of a curve ball, which in turn landed me in a situation I’m not all too familiar with…being “the other woman.”
Who knew? Well admittedly, he did, but I wasn’t let in on the secret until later, unfortunately. Later…after he brought me coffee in bed, after a long night of adult fun, after hours of conversations, two dinners, and four times spent together. So now that the haziness of it all has cleared and the fog has lifted a bit from the scene of the crime I am left with the decision of where do I allow this person to be in relation to me.
The way I see it, there are 2 large rooms in this house. My head and my heart. Within each of those rooms are smaller containers, and some of those also have even smaller, wee-little boxes inside to divide the contents further. So, these little boxes now have to be labeled and I am working on sorting out the remains of this past 10 days (since the first time we kissed).
Initially, I wanted a casual, light, fun fling. That being the case, there were no “expectations” of gesture or any demands of a relationship (or any of the actions that would typically come with it). Perfect. | But then this bombshell of being the other woman is put upon me. NOW is when the rules have to come out. Although I don’t necessarily WANT grand gestures or relationship type actions, they are now a necessity. A necessary evil in the scheme of things to somehow gauge the interest of this person and the lengths they will go. Sad but true.
1. I will be his only girl in this country (since I’m not the only one, may as well keep my place in the US)
2. He has to make an effort
3. Feelings are not included. Don’t try and catch them because short of something huge, I could never entertain the idea of a true relationship with him now, as he cheated with me – so would probably cheat on me.
As for the girlfriend. It’s his problem, not mine. He says nice things and apologies, I tell him “actions speak louder than words” and won’t hold my breath.
I let him see me again after the truth, to apologize in person. We sort it out (sort of) and I am now solely in charge of any and all movement of this quasi-relationship. The boxes in my head and heart now have little ones labeled “feelings” and “emotions” and “truths” ….and now they must all remain separate. These little boxes shall be shoved into the dark corner of the room, hopefully to be forgotten about and grow dusty. Maybe one day I will stumble back upon them, open the lid and breathe in the scent of nostalgia, hopefully with a level of fondness. No telling yet though, it’s too soon to see.
He leaves the city in April to go back home. Essentially I have 2-3 more months of “fun” and then life goes on.