I am curious – how do YOU cope with things? Stress? Anger? Disappointment? Fear?
All of us have different “coping mechanisms” – but not every one is decidedly healthy or truly getting to the root of our issue. I know sometimes (often times) I THINK I am taking steps to cope in a positive way – but really I’m placing a band-aid and then when that “wound” is healed enough, I move on, having forgotten that I forgot to dig out the root of whatever caused the hurt.
I know many people who tackle their moments of stress with things ranging from food to alcohol, from sex to religion. I don’t think one is “better” than the other – but I do think we need to question more of if that is truly serving us, and if it’s allowing us a way to heal our hurt. Are we using things as an “excuse” not to deal with the true core of the issue (ie – spending so much time at the gym, with friends or at church that you don’t actually focus on your own inner work)? Are we “too busy” with work, family or other external factors OR are we looking for a schedule so jam packed that we don’t NEED to take the time to FEEL our feelings, and therefore make excuses for our inability to prioritize.
I can say with certainty that I use food, alcohol, and overspending as mechanisms (or have in the past) and then wondered why I was left feeling empty and hurt (albeit full, drunk or broke). I also put too much emphasis on my partner “making me feel better” instead of myself. It’s a work in progress – but mindset shifts and good habits take time to cultivate/practice.
Another question – do we want to “cope” or should we think in terms of “healing”? Just enough, or “just getting by” is no way to live, though you can exist in that state.
LIVE – a full, happy, joyful life – not just an average existence.
DreamerSD 