Please don’t waste my time. I would say “wasting my time” is one of my top “pet peeves”. I abhor people who are late (without warning and without good reason when they do arrive), or people who come to meetings unprepared and expect to have everyone else waste time to catch them up. I do not enjoy wasting my own time, repeating myself or begging someone to pay attention. Along with that, being respectful of my time means asking for my time, not just assuming I should always be free at the drop of a hats notice. Respectful communication and interaction allow me to mentally and emotionally switch gears, if the time requested is in contrast to my typical goings on. It is ASKING and allowing me to accept before rushing into something and then the other party ends up displeased or disappointed when my reaction is one of confusion, annoyance or simply a loss. We may live in a time where we can buy something at the click of a button, but my time is worth more than that, and my boundaries exist so that both I and the other party can be fully present in whatever it is we are doing or discussing.
The following is something I think we have all probably dealt with at some point. The “sales” call from someone we know. This happened to me just the other evening and it was confusing and irritating, to put it ever so lightly.
They cold called, out of nowhere, in the middle of a world pandemic, just to launch into a canned spiel, then put their “mentor” on the phone with me before I could even protest (because let’s be honest, that mentor was on the line before I even answered). Clearly taking for granted any semblance of human decency and understanding of “polite” interactions, they charged forward to offer me “membership” into a group where I could get discounts (I didn’t even get told the company name?) and then be somehow a “wealthy” person (like the mentor on the phone), whose husband even got to retire early because of her success!
On top of all that, the “sales” person who initiated this call, literally hasn’t spoken to me in months (not anything more exchanged between each other than a passing “like” on social media, here and there) and I have seen them exactly ONE time in the past decade. Yes, we used to be quite close, but that chapter has since ended (two decades ago almost now) and while we are still acquaintances on social media, when I saw their name pop up on my caller ID, I fully expected to hear that someone we knew had died. Especially with the pandemic aspect of the timing, I was honestly quite anxious and fearful to answer that call.
I felt tricked, and by a person I once considered a close friend no less. I was asked to “speak with” aka listen to, a stranger who babbled on. Neither of the two having asked me “is this a good time to talk?”, I was just off of work, trying to heat up some dinner, so I could shovel it in my mouth before my next (not work related) call for the evening and trying to collect my energies/emotions for the upcoming call. The “mentor” finally stopped talking and said “how does that sound?” and the best I could muster was a very flabbergasted “I honestly feel very blind sided by this conversation”. I felt grossly taken advantage of, my privacy intruded upon, and my trust with this past friend a bit broken, as I felt that I was viewed as a part of their MLM money chain, rather than a valued friend. The “friend” and I then continued on for a few minutes about “how’s life” etc, but the tone was set. It was unbearably uncomfortable and thankfully short.
Calling under the premise of how some “opportunity” is “such a blessing”, and how someone wishes to enrich my life by the product or opportunity…well if it’s such a “surefire” thing and they are so certain I “will love it” and “be successful” in it, I think I will start to suggest that the calling party makes the investment for me. Pay for my starter kit/membership/whatever and purchase my first “buy in” so I can truly decide.
I won’t lie, when I was younger I most certainly did believe in the “person to person” chain of success that is promised by many groups and people. That youthful naive thinking is gone now though, and honestly I’m glad for it. I would much rather work and earn my living as I currently do, than risk my income being so variable. I am not comfortable with uncertain income, and I am happy to admit that. While I wish my friends all success and prosperity, I certainly don’t believe in the “get rich quick” or “magic pill” route, for money, weight loss or anything else.
DreamerSD 